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  • Writer's pictureBakhita Zine

The Most Invisible Woman in The World I The Different Hoods of Life I


Girl looking at a champagne glass

Spoiler alert she is still invisible


We as women go through a lot in our lifetime. That doubles when you are black and triples when you are queer. Now put all three things together and sprinkle on being the last born.


I know, I know “but last born have it so easy”. In reality that is not the case. Last-borns do not have it easy they are just forgotten. By the time the last born comes into the family the parents are tired. They do not parent them, they just say “Here you go”. They aren’t easier on the last born. The parent tank has just run out at this point.

Sibilng-hood


The siblings also have their own life. They have school and their own work to do. The age difference also plays a part since you like different things. Also, it’s not their job to rise the last born but it would be nice to have them around. Having siblings is like living in an apartment with a common area to eat. You hear the person but you don’t really see them. You hear them going and coming but you can’t bring yourself to go knock on their door.


This makes it hard for the last-born to ask for help when they struggle. In the siblings’ eyes, the last-born has it easy so how can they struggle? Their parents give them everything so what is the problem? The reasons back their hurt makes sense.


The problem is no one is around to teach life lessons. The internet and television became teachers. This is where last-borns get education on love, periods, sex talk, boys, friendship and sibling relationships. The last-born is left to face the world by themselves.


Last-borns don’t understand the real world because all they know is the fictional world that raised them. They still have to deal with the pressure of being as good as their siblings without guidance.

Solo-hood


I am a last born. All the skills I have I learnt them myself. Everything I know about the real world I had to research on my own. I don’t know how to live outside of this bubble I have made for myself.


I have dealt with micro-aggression but I don’t know who I could talk to about this. I don’t even know what micro-aggressions were at that point. I thought differently about relationships compared to my peers. But I had no one to talk to about this. I never have someone to talk to about.


I only know the fictional bubble that has guided me my whole life. Music helps to silence the real world and television helps to block the world. Books lead me into a world of the impossible but I can’t stay in the bubble all the time.


School-hood


I learned that failing is not something that happens when everyone around believes you have it all. So I keep up the idea of the perfect student. Projects done. School attends.


How can you break away when everyone thinks you are the model student?

All looks good on the surface but that’s not true you are creaking under the pressure of the idea people have of you.



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